Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Eternally Focused

You know when you are sitting in church and you feel like the pastor is completely talking to you? Welcome to my life the past month! Every week I have walked into Cross Point and have come out thinking..."Seriously, God..I get it!!" There has been a lot of things that I have decided that I needed to control. Of course, you all know how that turns out. I make it a complete mess!

"The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon but that we wait so long to begin it." W.M Lewis

Blake read this quote on Sunday and God has not let me forget it. The day before Thanksgiving a friend of mine lost his dad. He was only 51. It was sudden. There was no warning. He was in great shape and did all the right things. No one could explain how a healthy 51 year old just dies. It was so unexpected. There are no words that you can say to the family because in reality, nothing really helps.

The thing that I keep wrestling with is...why do we think it was so unexpected? We know that we really are not promised another day so why do we continue to live like we do? Why do we make plans for next week..month..year and we can't live in the moment? How much of our life do we waste by the plans we make? If I could just graduate...If I could just get this job or this promotion...if that boy would finally realize we were meant to be together then I could start my life. We feed into this notion that life won't be better until....

What keeps us from living in the moment? If I were truly living "eternally focused" I feel like I would live for the moment. Blake said that if we are focused on the eternal things, there should be an urgency in our life. I want that urgency. I want to make the most of the moments that God gives me. I pray that you also make the most of those moments.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009


In the spirit of Thanksgiving, there are so many things I am thankful for this year. Here are a few of those.

Obviously, I am thankful for my family. I love them so much. Of course, we have our issues but I could not ask for anything better. I have parents who are still in love and still love me! I have an older brother who I adore and has a beautiful family. I have a sister who I know will do anything for me and will forever be my best friend. I miss that we do not live in the same city anymore but I love how close we have become over the years. I have two nephews and a niece that are hands down the cutest kids ever!

I have the greatest group of friends. I have had so much fun getting to know so many people in Nashville and I know that I have already made some pretty great lasting friendships. I love living in Nashville. I can't believe I have almost been here a year! I hope I never forget the reasons why I fell in love with this city.

I don't know if I can ever express how thankful I am for Bailee's friendship. She has been there with me through so much and I can't imagine how I would have gotten through some things without her. God is so good and her presence in my life is evidence of that. I miss her and Josh so much. I hate that Lucas is getting so big and I am missing it. Besides my family, she is the ONLY reason I would EVER consider moving back to Arkansas but don't get excited because that is not happening anytime soon! :)

I feel like Cross Point has been my saving grace. I know that I had become so bitter toward the church. I felt so hopeless that I would ever be able to forgive and let my guard down again. The people that I have met since being at Cross Point are the biggest reason that church is succeeding the way it has been. I immediately felt the relationships I was building were authentic. The staff never tries to seem perfect and quick to admit their flaws. Their heart for seeing a change in this community is humbling and is something that I am so proud to be apart of. I feel like I could use an entire entry about Cross Point so I will stop for now.

I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving week. I am ready to head to Mississippi to eat way to much and watch football for four days in a row! Love y'all!


Monday, August 31, 2009

Almost Finished

Crazy Love is almost over. I have had to go back and reread some things because I really am the worst at reading books. Even though, I really enjoyed this one. This book as caused me to look at my own life and try to figure out if my life is any different. Most days, I play the "christian" part real well. I know the right things to say and the right things to do. Could people look at my life and see Jesus? I desire to live a life fully for Christ so what the heck is holding me back sometimes?

What if I took Matthew 25 literally? How would my life be different if I really looked at every person as coming in contact with Jesus? Tonight, we got on the subject of hell a little bit. Sometimes, I can let the thought of hell consume and it keeps me up at night. It is such a reality but yet we let life get so busy that it is not our reality. How many times do we hear after someone does something so horrible like shoot up a school or abuse a child that the deserve to be in hell. If we truly understood the ramification of hell, would our comments change? I sure hope so. Where did we get this mentality that we also dont deserve hell? We deserve it just as much as the next person and as Christians, we should understand it better than anyone. We have taken the love out of the gospel and filled it with religion, traditions, and judgements.

In the book, Chan talks about real faith and love is loving someone who has wronged you. I feel like we should be so focused on the kingdom that we begin to learn to look past ourselves long enough to love someone who doesnt deserve it. Loving people who we feel don't deserve it is what God calls us to do. So many times, I burn bridges and cut off relationships because someone does me wrong. If I could keep a kingdom perspective, my thought process would change so much. I would no longer see people through my human eyes. I would be able to see them through Christ's eyes.

This entry was kind of all over the place but I just want my life to be different. I want people to describe me as a person who loves Jesus and loves people.


Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Crazy Love

I started reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan yesterday. It really has been an incredible book to read. I love to highlight the parts of books that really stick out to me and part of me could highlight this whole stinking book!

I am only through chapter 3 but I want to take it all in. I find it funny that in the last post, I talk about how I don't always trust God and then in the first few chapters, I am reminded how selfish I am for not trusting Him! I feel like I could talk about this book for hours. It has already challenged me in so many ways. I really like how he explains that this is not another book bashing the church. We all know, there are plenty of those out there! It's so easy to blame the church. Trust me, I did it for so long. I love when he writes, "If we lived like we were supposed to the people could not say, 'I believe in God but not orgainized Religion.' The expression would have to change to, 'I can't deny what the church is doing, but I don't believe in God.' At least then they'd addrees their rejection of God rather than use the church as a scapegoat."

For so long, I used the church as a scapegoat. Yes, I had been burned by Christians that were supposed to be my closest friends. Yes, I had been let down by leaders in my life that I trusted and I let Satan win that battle. Instead of focusing on my relationship with Christ, I pulled away. I didn't want any part of what the church stood for and I had no plans to help make it better. I just wanted out.

I feel like through a lot of pain and tears, my view has completely changed. People will always let me down and the church is not perfect but it's my choice how I react to these situations. I can totally write people off and judge them or I can be there for them and see them through Christ's eyes. It's not easy and it's something that I continue to struggle with but I have so much more peace in my life these days.

I really feel like this entry could be forever long if I let it because there are so many things I could write about on the topic of this book. I will just leave a few of my favorite quotes.

Until next time,


We don't get to describe who God is. God said to Moses, "I am who I am." We don't change that.

We are programmed to focus on what we don't have. This dissatisfaction transfers over to our thinking about God. We forget that we already have everything we need in Him. Because we don't often think about the reality of who God is, we quickly forget that He is worthy to be worshipped and loved.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Another Season

I started my job this week as a nanny. I really love it. I have a little boy who is almost 11 months old. Its kind of a perfect job for me right now. It gives me flexibility and a lot of free time. I am ready for this season. I am ready to see what God has in store for me although I feel like I am starting to get this itch to do something else.

It seems to always happen when I hear other people's dreams and plan for their lives. I feel like I am learning to be content but still seek God and it's not an easy task. I am sure it will be one of those things that I never master and will always have to work towards but sometimes it is a lot harder for me. I have no question that I am where I am supposed to be at this moment. I just feel like I am meant for bigger. Maybe all Christians should feel this way because essentially we are meant for bigger.

Today at church, Pete talked about Jonah. I just loved how he talked about the fish not being the punishment for Jonah's disobedience. This story is a story about grace and second chances. I think I relate pretty well to Jonah. I have a hard time trusting that God is going to see me through things even when I know He has never let me down. It's probably the thing that frustrates me the most about myself. I just can't let go of things sometimes and let Him work. Man, life would just be so much easier if I could just trust from the beginning!! I guess that is what growing is all about.


Wednesday, July 29, 2009

American Idol

So, Kristin and I went to see the American Idols on tour. It really was a great concert. I was thoroughly impressed with pretty much everyone. It was so incredible to watch Kris on stage and see what an amazing performer he has become. I am not saying that he wasn't before but he has grown so much! It is great to sit back and watch all of a friend's dreams come true. We got to meet most of them and they were so nice and so patient with everyone that wanted autographs and pictures. I don't know if I could live that lifestyle. Some of those people were CRAZY! I had a lot of fun just getting to talk to Kris and see how he was doing with all of it. Of course, he hasn't changed a bit and I have all the faith in the world that he won't ever change. We got some great pictures so I hope all one of you that reads this blog enjoy them! (MOM) :)
Love yall,

Saturday, July 25, 2009

How many times?

How many times can I restart a blog? It's kind of ridiculous but hopefully this time things will stick! I love reading blogs about my friends and random people I don't know so hopefully I can begin to keep everyone else involved in my life. Although, I don't lead the most exciting life, it's still a pretty great life. Let's recap the past five months of my life: moved to Nashville, completed an internship with CSM, met some pretty great girls and we moved in together, starting to get involved with Crosspoint and loving it, and started making some pretty great friends.

I really love Nashville. If the chance presents itself, I could live here forever. It just seems like the perfect fit for me. There are so many things to do. I love all the culture and the music scene is incredible. There is so much talent here (not involving country music) so it's nice to be able to get the chance to go see a great show any night of the week.

Crosspoint is so great. I have tried out a few churches and there are about 700 churches here so I have had plenty to chose from! Crosspoint just seems to be the right choice for me. The people have been so great. I love how involved they are in the community and their heart for missions, home and overseas, is inspiring. I am excited to get more involved. It has been a long time.

My non-profit is still in the planning phase. I have talked to a few people and it gets me excited to talk to people that inspire me. It is also nice to talk to people that I know will support me no matter what happens. I know God has placed them in my life for that reason and I can't thank Him enough.

I vow to make this a routine part of my life. It is going to happen! Maybe if I actually write more often, more people will read it! I think it could be good for me! I like how I am trying to convince myself that this will be routine! IT WILL HAPPEN!

Until next time,


Monday, February 9, 2009


Well, I have officially moved to Nashville! It was the greatest feeling coming into the city on saturday. I dont know if I can explain it but it was almost like I was home. It sounds weird b/c I only lived here for the summer but I finally feel like this is where I need to be at this moment. Its nice to feel that again! I am excited to start working and figure out what the next steps are going to be. I am hoping to really get my ideas out there to anyone that will listen about my non-profit! I can't wait to meet some new friends and just really establish a life here! So, here is to new beginnings and the uncertainity of life! Love yall!!


Sunday, January 4, 2009

A New Year!

So, its 2009. Gosh, time flies by these days! I am excited to see what this year has in store. I am ready for the move to Nashville. There are so many uncertainties involved but I am okay with that. I need this move in my life right now. I need to start a life somewhere else. I hope to stay there for a while. I want to start the process of establishing my non-profit in Nashville so I am really hoping that those details get worked out soon and things start progressing. I hope the new year is great for y'all! I have a feeling there will be a lot of changes!! Change is good..right?

love y'all,