My So Called Life

What I Am Learning

2010-08-21T20:44:00.003-05:00

Summer is officially over for CSM LA. It went by so fast and I can't believe its actually over. Of course, posting pictures took a back seat! I don't know what I was thinking trying to start something like that in the middle of the busiest summer of my life!

I have been learning so much this summer about God, His character, and His plan for my life. As much as I have fallen in love with L.A., it is very much outside of my comfort zone. I have had to really trust God in this whole plan because honestly, I don't know if I would have picked L.A. Thank goodness He sees the bigger picture because it has been the best decision for me right now. I could not ask for a better team of people around me.

I am excited for the plans that we have for our city. I am excited to see this ministry grow and teach kids more and more about God's love for the city and His people. I am excited to continue the relationships with our ministry sites this fall and be able to serve along side of them. I mean, I seriously have the best job ever. I get to work full time with people in the city living out the gospel. How amazing is that? It's so much more than giving money or handing out food. I have the opportunity to build deep, meaningful, relationships with people who teach me every day what real faith and trust in God looks like. I don't know why God has chosen me. I am thankful every day that He did.

Speaking love

2010-06-24T16:48:00.002-05:00

"We are sensitive about the words that come into our lives but sometimes careless about the words that come out of our mouths." Pete Wilson

I was going back through some notes today while I was planning for our Sunday devotions. This was one of the first things I read. It was from a message Pete preached about pursuing wisdom in words. How true is this statement? If someone says something to hurt my feelings, I could carry it around with me forever. Yet, sometimes I don't give my words a second thought before they come spewing out of my mouth.

The notes I have for this message are incredibly convicting and rightly so! This is hard for me so many times. I am sarcastic and find humor in it. Sometimes the things that come out of my mouth make me even cringe. Somewhere we started believing that we could say the meanest things we could think of and by adding "just kidding" or "I'm sorry" to the end of it, it makes it okay. It doesn't take those words away. I never want my friends to ever think they can't come to me with real life problems b/c of my words. I want my words to be life giving.

He goes on to say..."God has designed the human soul where your words will either destroy or build up one another." How differently would I chose my words if I lived this out on a daily basis?

Project 365

2010-06-18T12:53:00.005-05:00

June 11th
This is how you shop for 80 something people. Its mad chaos!

June12th
One of the cats in our house. She is such a creeper.

June13th
First week of groups!

June14th
Robin surprised me with this in the mail. I have the best friends. I can't wait to start reading it.

June15th
Two of our hosts, Billy and Allie, had birthdays today! Jonathan and I made the cakes. Jonathan made an ice cream cake and I made a red velvet. We are pretty awesome.

June16th
oops..forgot to take a picture

June17th
Can you tell who was playing in the world cup today? South LA was crazy and it was so fun to experience. People were just driving around and waving flags, blowing horns, and dancing in the streets.

Project 365

2010-06-11T00:38:00.013-05:00

June 4th
This is the van they let me drive around for staff training. It has been an adventure!

June 5th
Dodgers game with the hosts. Stupid Dodgers lost!

June 6th
My new bedding. I love it and its a nice change for my room.

June 7th
My new friend, Cy. He is way cooler than I will ever be.

June 8th
Debriefing at Echo Park

June 9th
Darin bought himself a Roscoe's shirt. This guy was one of a kind.

June 10th
Enjoying some beach/fire pit time with the hosts.

Project 365

2010-06-04T23:17:00.001-05:00

I have decided that I take pictures way more than I blog. So, I am hoping that I will be able to combine the two and blog way more consistently.

Basically, I will be taking pictures every day for the next year. I am going to share these with yall. I want to start really capturing all the things that happening in my life especially now that I am so far away from family and friends. I hope that yall will enjoy this as much as I do. Thank you so much for the support and prayers I have felt since moving to LA. I love each and every one of you so much. Thanks for being a part of my life. Without further ado...my first week of Project 365:

May 27th:
The view from my desk. Love that picture of Peyton getting ready for his first Ole Miss baseball game

May 28th:
Our first day of staff training. We hosted a group from Torrence, CA and had Indian Food brought in before going on the prayer tour.

May 29th:
CSM group working with Faith in Christ kids club

May 30th:
Jordan and I hanging out while our group goes on Dinner Search

May 31st
My new obsession is Yogurtland. The best part is my group from Grand Junction, CO got me a $100 gift card there! So, now I have every reason to go on a daily basis.

June 1st:
Staff Training!!

June 2nd:
JP and Deric were here! So glad I got to hang out with them for a few hours. It was really nice to see familiar faces.

June 3rd:
Cooking at a ministry site. You really don't even want to know what is that pot!

Summer is coming!

2010-05-14T16:09:00.001-05:00

Summer is almost here! Actually, our host have started showing up this week. Please be praying for them throughout this week and the summer. Their names are Daniel, Anna, Stasi, Allie, Courntey, Emily, Billy, and Ashley.

I am so excited for them all to arrive and we can get going this summer. Staff training starts tomorrow. Please pray for any fears, concerns, or anxieties that they may have this summer. Also, please pray for their parents. I am sure it is hard on the parents to leave their babies in the inner city. Things are about to get so crazy busy. Please pray for Jordan, Jonathan, and me as we train our host and teach them as much as we know about CSM before they start hosting.

I love yall!

Breanne

How does this still happen?

2010-04-27T16:18:00.002-05:00

I read a story today that completely broke my heart. How have we become so desensitized as a culture that we could allow this to happen? People want to blame it on New Yorkers but I know this could happen any place. Our culture has become so self-absorbed that we can't step out of our worlds for one second to see the bigger picture. We don't like to be uncomfortable. It's a hard concept to grasp that this life is not about our jobs, how much money we make, how much stuff we have..etc. It's about caring for and loving people. We have lost sight of that some where. We have become a society where we will walk over anyone to get what we want.

I want this to be a reminder to me to look beyond myself. If my life was truly eternally focused...how different would I be?

Home Sweet L.A.

2010-04-20T22:13:00.004-05:00

After the longest road trip, we have made it to L.A. and I started working on Monday. Britney and Beth came with me and we had such a great time. We got to see so much driving to the west coast.

We started at 6 am Wednesday morning. Our first detour was in Prague, OK. Not sure why but they have a National Shrine of Infant Jesus. It was so weird. We stopped in Amarillo to see the Cadillac Ranch. I do not know what the big deal is but now I can say that I have seen it. After 18 long hours, we spent the night in Flagstaff, AZ. Thursday morning, we made our way up to the south rim of the Grand Canyon. It was simply amazing. I have heard so many times that pictures do not do it justice and it's so true. From the Grand Canyon, we decided to take a detour to Vegas. I mean..why not? We have already driven about 20 hours at this point. We saw the Hoover Dam on our way to Vegas. We didn't spend much time at all there. We were there long enough to drive down the strip and see the famous Welcome to Vegas sign. It was good enough for this trip.

We rolled into L.A. around 10 Thursday night. It was so great to finally be in the city. I am pretty sure we packed in more site seeing in 3 days than most people do in a week! I have already been to Hollywood Blvd, Sunset, Rodeo Dr, Beverly Hills, Santa Monica Pier, Venice Beach, and that was just Friday! Saturday, we went back to the pier to eat lunch and ride the ferris wheel. We went to see the Dodgers play Sunday afternoon and it was crazy hot so we didn't stay the whole game. They left Monday afternoon. It was so much fun to have them here for those few days.

I started working Monday. It was a lot of driving around the city and learning where some of our ministry sites are located. We stumbled onto a taping of NCIS L.A. so that was fun to watch for a little while. Chris O'Donnell was within arms reach of us so that was fun! Jonathan and Jordan took me on the prayer tour Monday evening which is really my favorite part of CSM. It is such a great way to learn and fall in love with the city where God has called me. I am so excited about what God is doing here and that I get to be a small part of it. I will be updating more often (hopefully) so this is a great place to see what is going here in the city. Thanks so much for reading and praying for me as I begin this huge, life changing journey. I will be collecting home addresses and email addresses to send out prayer cards and newsletters. Please let me know if you would like to receive either one. You can email me at breanne@csm.org or send me a message on facebook. I love y'all so much. Thanks for being apart of my life!

LA...here I come...

2010-03-17T14:37:00.003-05:00

Just writing that blog title is still kinda surreal to me! I am officially moving to L.A. to work with CSM. I will be the Associate Director of CSM L.A. I can't even begin to express how I am feeling right now. I am excited/nervous/every other feeling I could possibly have at this moment. This is probably one of the biggest decisions I have made in my life but I couldn't be happier. This opportunity is going to be life changing and will be one of the best experiences for me. It will be a nice push outside of my comfort zone and a challenge for my faith which is something I don't feel like I have experienced a lot of in my life.

I am going to miss Nashville and the friends I have made here so much. I feel like I have finally found myself and the people I have met here have been a huge part in that process. I know being so far away from everyone will be hard but now my family and friends have a new place to come visit/vacation!

I only have a month left so there is a lot to do and people to see. I get to start with going to see Bailee, Josh, and Lucas for the next five days. I can't wait to spend time with them. Please pray for me as I make this transition. Pray that my family will have the peace that I have about my decision. I am so excited for this next stage in my life and I want them to be just as excited for me even though the unknown is a scary for them. I can't wait to start working and share all of my experiences with y'all.

Happy Birthday Breelyn! Gifts71-80

2010-03-01T20:28:00.017-06:00

My neice turns 4 today. She is the most precious little girl and I love being her aunt. I love everything about her. I love that she is a princess and a girly girl but can definitely hold her own. I love that she calls me BreeBree and the way she lights up when I come home. She is one of my favorite people in the world. My gifts for this week will be pictures of Breelyn.

Breelyn,
I love you so much! Thank you for showing me what loving unconditionally looks like. I am so proud of you and love being your aunt! You bring so much joy into my life and I can't wait to see how God uses you.

love, BreeBree

*love her spongebob sunglasses!
*She loves her Pops!
*She loves her baby brother most days...
*HUGE Kris Allen fan and loves the autographed picture
*always posing
*She would live outside if she could
*Even her "freak out" moments are cute
*First day of school
*Jumpzone birthday party
*Always be my little princess

Gifts 61-70

2010-02-22T10:51:00.003-06:00

61. Driving with the windows down
62. video chats with Rachel
63. New life choices
64. Spring weekends in Febuary
65. Going away for the weekend and not having cell phone service
66. Building lasting friendships
67. Letting go
68. Coffee
69. taking pictures
70. The excitement of the unknown

My Big Brother

2010-02-11T10:28:00.012-06:00

Today is Billy's 32nd birthday! Wow..he is getting up there! :) Even though we have our ups and downs as all siblings do, he has always been an incredible big brother! I have been truly blessed with my family. So, in honor of his birthday, I thought I would share some pictures of us from over the years. Since it is his birthday, I left out the awkward middle school pictures and only put up the cute ones! (Billy, you know the ones I am talking about!)

*Pretty sure he probably loved this outfit! I found several pictures of him in it.
*Christmas has always brought great memories for us! And apparently this year was no exception because this is the year Kid Sister and My Buddy came into our lives! Notice the 80's wood paneling!
*Ahh..Easter Sunday! This one makes me laugh so hard. I feel like even at that moment, he felt sorry for me!
*Never more in his element than when he was playing sports!
*This one is just sweet. My bright red headed big brother and big sister!

Billy, I love you and hope you have a great day!!

One Year

2010-02-08T13:15:00.002-06:00

One year ago today I moved to Nashville. It's kind of crazy how fast time flies! It has been sort of a whirlwind. I feel like I have grown lot. There are so many experiences that I am thankful for this year. Here are some of the highlights of the past year....

*I found a church home in Cross Point. It's not just a place I attend. I began to serve and find my place there.
*My two dear best friends, Bailee and Josh, had the most incredible baby boy. Lucas James Bettencourt was born March 19th and changed their lives forever. I mean..seriously..look how cute this boy is..(even if he is wearing a Cowboys jersey!:))

*I had the priviledge of interning at Center for Student Missions. It was an incredible experience and really is a huge reason for my growth this year.
*I have met some pretty fantastic people that I now call friends and that has made the transition so much easier!
*JP got married and I had the priviledge of being a bridesmaid.
*I watched a friend's dreams come true on national television.
*Met two great girls that became my roommmates.
*Celebrated Wilbur's 100th birthday.
*Elijah was born! This has been a fun year of new babies!!
*Celebrating Christmas in Wheelwright, KY with Cross Point

All in all, I feel like it has been a pretty incredible year. Excited to see what the next year holds!

Gifts 41-50

2010-02-01T22:33:00.002-06:00

41. Snow days
42. Remembering what its like to be a kid again
43. Birthdays
44. Starting a new small group
45. Lazy saturdays
46. Unexpected phone calls from my 3 yr old neice
47. Friends that love me despite myself
48. Weekend getaways
49. Good conversation
50. Listening to someone tell their story

One Thousand Gifts 31-40

2010-01-25T23:27:00.002-06:00

31. Movie nights
32. Education
33. sending a gift just because
34. receiving a gift just because
35. Having a best friend like Bailee that can totally turn your day around!
36. a new puppy in the house
37. Grace
38. Watching best friends be incredible parents
39. Being daddy's little girl
40. Music

21-30

2010-01-18T23:02:00.002-06:00

21. Sunday afternoon naps
22. Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough
23. Our couch with the pull-out
24. The fact that going to the park is part of my job!
25. Knowing all my neighbors
26. Realizing the small things make up the big picture
27. Office quotes
28. Coffee dates with Jes
29. 60 degree weather in January
30. How a toddler's laugh can turn your whole day around.

Gifts 11-20

2010-01-11T12:04:00.002-06:00

11. Having a job that I love!
12. Growing up so close to my grandparents
13. Having Britney as a best friend for the past 13 years.
14. My community group
15. Weekends where I can do nothing
16. Learning I don't have to be busy all the time
17. The perspective I gained from working with CSM.
18. Music
19. Afternoons that I have to myself
20. Forgetting my cell phone at home

1000 Gifts

2010-01-04T11:18:00.005-06:00

I saw this on my friend Emily's blog and thought this would be a great way to start off the new year. So, hopefully every Monday I can add a few more. I know I forget so many times with the craziness of life just how blessed I am so this will be a great reminder! Here are my first ten.

1. The fact that I can call my sister my best friend
2. When friends come to visit
3. I have a beautiful neice and two handsome nephews that I love dearly.
4. Being able to look at the world through the eyes of a 3 year old.
5. Going home to visit family
6. Phone calls from Bailee on her way home from work so we can catch up on each other's lives.
7.The friends I have made this past year in Nashville
8. Being able to move to a new city
9. A Godly family that instilled some pretty great values in my life.
10. Having parents that I know would do anything in this world for me and never taking that for granted.

Eternally Focused

2009-12-01T16:54:00.000-06:00

You know when you are sitting in church and you feel like the pastor is completely talking to you? Welcome to my life the past month! Every week I have walked into Cross Point and have come out thinking..."Seriously, God..I get it!!" There has been a lot of things that I have decided that I needed to control. Of course, you all know how that turns out. I make it a complete mess!

"The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon but that we wait so long to begin it." W.M Lewis

Blake read this quote on Sunday and God has not let me forget it. The day before Thanksgiving a friend of mine lost his dad. He was only 51. It was sudden. There was no warning. He was in great shape and did all the right things. No one could explain how a healthy 51 year old just dies. It was so unexpected. There are no words that you can say to the family because in reality, nothing really helps.

The thing that I keep wrestling with is...why do we think it was so unexpected? We know that we really are not promised another day so why do we continue to live like we do? Why do we make plans for next week..month..year and we can't live in the moment? How much of our life do we waste by the plans we make? If I could just graduate...If I could just get this job or this promotion...if that boy would finally realize we were meant to be together then I could start my life. We feed into this notion that life won't be better until....

What keeps us from living in the moment? If I were truly living "eternally focused" I feel like I would live for the moment. Blake said that if we are focused on the eternal things, there should be an urgency in our life. I want that urgency. I want to make the most of the moments that God gives me. I pray that you also make the most of those moments.

Thanksgiving

2009-11-24T13:32:00.000-06:00

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, there are so many things I am thankful for this year. Here are a few of those.

Obviously, I am thankful for my family. I love them so much. Of course, we have our issues but I could not ask for anything better. I have parents who are still in love and still love me! I have an older brother who I adore and has a beautiful family. I have a sister who I know will do anything for me and will forever be my best friend. I miss that we do not live in the same city anymore but I love how close we have become over the years. I have two nephews and a niece that are hands down the cutest kids ever!

I have the greatest group of friends. I have had so much fun getting to know so many people in Nashville and I know that I have already made some pretty great lasting friendships. I love living in Nashville. I can't believe I have almost been here a year! I hope I never forget the reasons why I fell in love with this city.

I don't know if I can ever express how thankful I am for Bailee's friendship. She has been there with me through so much and I can't imagine how I would have gotten through some things without her. God is so good and her presence in my life is evidence of that. I miss her and Josh so much. I hate that Lucas is getting so big and I am missing it. Besides my family, she is the ONLY reason I would EVER consider moving back to Arkansas but don't get excited because that is not happening anytime soon! :)

I feel like Cross Point has been my saving grace. I know that I had become so bitter toward the church. I felt so hopeless that I would ever be able to forgive and let my guard down again. The people that I have met since being at Cross Point are the biggest reason that church is succeeding the way it has been. I immediately felt the relationships I was building were authentic. The staff never tries to seem perfect and quick to admit their flaws. Their heart for seeing a change in this community is humbling and is something that I am so proud to be apart of. I feel like I could use an entire entry about Cross Point so I will stop for now.

I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving week. I am ready to head to Mississippi to eat way to much and watch football for four days in a row! Love y'all!

Breanne

Almost Finished

2009-08-31T22:46:00.000-05:00

Crazy Love is almost over. I have had to go back and reread some things because I really am the worst at reading books. Even though, I really enjoyed this one. This book as caused me to look at my own life and try to figure out if my life is any different. Most days, I play the "christian" part real well. I know the right things to say and the right things to do. Could people look at my life and see Jesus? I desire to live a life fully for Christ so what the heck is holding me back sometimes?

What if I took Matthew 25 literally? How would my life be different if I really looked at every person as coming in contact with Jesus? Tonight, we got on the subject of hell a little bit. Sometimes, I can let the thought of hell consume and it keeps me up at night. It is such a reality but yet we let life get so busy that it is not our reality. How many times do we hear after someone does something so horrible like shoot up a school or abuse a child that the deserve to be in hell. If we truly understood the ramification of hell, would our comments change? I sure hope so. Where did we get this mentality that we also dont deserve hell? We deserve it just as much as the next person and as Christians, we should understand it better than anyone. We have taken the love out of the gospel and filled it with religion, traditions, and judgements.

In the book, Chan talks about real faith and love is loving someone who has wronged you. I feel like we should be so focused on the kingdom that we begin to learn to look past ourselves long enough to love someone who doesnt deserve it. Loving people who we feel don't deserve it is what God calls us to do. So many times, I burn bridges and cut off relationships because someone does me wrong. If I could keep a kingdom perspective, my thought process would change so much. I would no longer see people through my human eyes. I would be able to see them through Christ's eyes.

This entry was kind of all over the place but I just want my life to be different. I want people to describe me as a person who loves Jesus and loves people.

Breanne

Crazy Love

2009-08-11T00:43:00.001-05:00

I started reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan yesterday. It really has been an incredible book to read. I love to highlight the parts of books that really stick out to me and part of me could highlight this whole stinking book!

I am only through chapter 3 but I want to take it all in. I find it funny that in the last post, I talk about how I don't always trust God and then in the first few chapters, I am reminded how selfish I am for not trusting Him! I feel like I could talk about this book for hours. It has already challenged me in so many ways. I really like how he explains that this is not another book bashing the church. We all know, there are plenty of those out there! It's so easy to blame the church. Trust me, I did it for so long. I love when he writes, "If we lived like we were supposed to the people could not say, 'I believe in God but not orgainized Religion.' The expression would have to change to, 'I can't deny what the church is doing, but I don't believe in God.' At least then they'd addrees their rejection of God rather than use the church as a scapegoat."

For so long, I used the church as a scapegoat. Yes, I had been burned by Christians that were supposed to be my closest friends. Yes, I had been let down by leaders in my life that I trusted and I let Satan win that battle. Instead of focusing on my relationship with Christ, I pulled away. I didn't want any part of what the church stood for and I had no plans to help make it better. I just wanted out.

I feel like through a lot of pain and tears, my view has completely changed. People will always let me down and the church is not perfect but it's my choice how I react to these situations. I can totally write people off and judge them or I can be there for them and see them through Christ's eyes. It's not easy and it's something that I continue to struggle with but I have so much more peace in my life these days.

I really feel like this entry could be forever long if I let it because there are so many things I could write about on the topic of this book. I will just leave a few of my favorite quotes.

Until next time,

Breanne

We don't get to describe who God is. God said to Moses, "I am who I am." We don't change that.

We are programmed to focus on what we don't have. This dissatisfaction transfers over to our thinking about God. We forget that we already have everything we need in Him. Because we don't often think about the reality of who God is, we quickly forget that He is worthy to be worshipped and loved.

Another Season

2009-08-05T20:29:00.000-05:00

I started my job this week as a nanny. I really love it. I have a little boy who is almost 11 months old. Its kind of a perfect job for me right now. It gives me flexibility and a lot of free time. I am ready for this season. I am ready to see what God has in store for me although I feel like I am starting to get this itch to do something else.

It seems to always happen when I hear other people's dreams and plan for their lives. I feel like I am learning to be content but still seek God and it's not an easy task. I am sure it will be one of those things that I never master and will always have to work towards but sometimes it is a lot harder for me. I have no question that I am where I am supposed to be at this moment. I just feel like I am meant for bigger. Maybe all Christians should feel this way because essentially we are meant for bigger.

Today at church, Pete talked about Jonah. I just loved how he talked about the fish not being the punishment for Jonah's disobedience. This story is a story about grace and second chances. I think I relate pretty well to Jonah. I have a hard time trusting that God is going to see me through things even when I know He has never let me down. It's probably the thing that frustrates me the most about myself. I just can't let go of things sometimes and let Him work. Man, life would just be so much easier if I could just trust from the beginning!! I guess that is what growing is all about.

Breanne

American Idol

2009-07-29T17:12:00.000-05:00

So, Kristin and I went to see the American Idols on tour. It really was a great concert. I was thoroughly impressed with pretty much everyone. It was so incredible to watch Kris on stage and see what an amazing performer he has become. I am not saying that he wasn't before but he has grown so much! It is great to sit back and watch all of a friend's dreams come true. We got to meet most of them and they were so nice and so patient with everyone that wanted autographs and pictures. I don't know if I could live that lifestyle. Some of those people were CRAZY! I had a lot of fun just getting to talk to Kris and see how he was doing with all of it. Of course, he hasn't changed a bit and I have all the faith in the world that he won't ever change. We got some great pictures so I hope all one of you that reads this blog enjoy them! (MOM) :)

Love yall,

Breanne

How many times?

2009-07-25T18:03:00.000-05:00

How many times can I restart a blog? It's kind of ridiculous but hopefully this time things will stick! I love reading blogs about my friends and random people I don't know so hopefully I can begin to keep everyone else involved in my life. Although, I don't lead the most exciting life, it's still a pretty great life. Let's recap the past five months of my life: moved to Nashville, completed an internship with CSM, met some pretty great girls and we moved in together, starting to get involved with Crosspoint and loving it, and started making some pretty great friends.

I really love Nashville. If the chance presents itself, I could live here forever. It just seems like the perfect fit for me. There are so many things to do. I love all the culture and the music scene is incredible. There is so much talent here (not involving country music) so it's nice to be able to get the chance to go see a great show any night of the week.

Crosspoint is so great. I have tried out a few churches and there are about 700 churches here so I have had plenty to chose from! Crosspoint just seems to be the right choice for me. The people have been so great. I love how involved they are in the community and their heart for missions, home and overseas, is inspiring. I am excited to get more involved. It has been a long time.

My non-profit is still in the planning phase. I have talked to a few people and it gets me excited to talk to people that inspire me. It is also nice to talk to people that I know will support me no matter what happens. I know God has placed them in my life for that reason and I can't thank Him enough.

I vow to make this a routine part of my life. It is going to happen! Maybe if I actually write more often, more people will read it! I think it could be good for me! I like how I am trying to convince myself that this will be routine! IT WILL HAPPEN!

Until next time,

Breanne

Nashville

2009-02-09T17:12:00.000-06:00

Well, I have officially moved to Nashville! It was the greatest feeling coming into the city on saturday. I dont know if I can explain it but it was almost like I was home. It sounds weird b/c I only lived here for the summer but I finally feel like this is where I need to be at this moment. Its nice to feel that again! I am excited to start working and figure out what the next steps are going to be. I am hoping to really get my ideas out there to anyone that will listen about my non-profit! I can't wait to meet some new friends and just really establish a life here! So, here is to new beginnings and the uncertainity of life! Love yall!!

Breanne

A New Year!

2009-01-04T02:42:00.001-06:00

So, its 2009. Gosh, time flies by these days! I am excited to see what this year has in store. I am ready for the move to Nashville. There are so many uncertainties involved but I am okay with that. I need this move in my life right now. I need to start a life somewhere else. I hope to stay there for a while. I want to start the process of establishing my non-profit in Nashville so I am really hoping that those details get worked out soon and things start progressing. I hope the new year is great for y'all! I have a feeling there will be a lot of changes!! Change is good..right?

love y'all,

Breanne

Thanksgiving

2008-11-30T05:02:00.001-06:00

This week was nice. I went home to Mississippi and spent a few days with family and friends. I honestly think one of my favorite things is to get to go home. Spending time with family is something that can't be replaced, no matter how crazy they may be! We ate a lot and watched a lot of football!! Ole Miss beat the mess out of MS State!! Can't really think of a better way to spend the week! I did go shopping on friday. We didn't wake up real early but it was early enough to think I might not ever do it again!! It was so much crazier than last year. It just put me in a bad mood more than anything!!! People were so rude and crazy about sales. I was kind of in disbelief about the whole situation. It is kind of sad that this is really what Christmas is about now. I am not going to get on a soapbox about missing the meaning but it was truly eye opening yesterday. Everyone knows the meaning is lost but I saw it first hand yesterday.

I do love the holiday season though. Everyone seems to be a little happier. (excluding Black Friday) I love the lights, music, and family time. I know I take it for granted so often but I have been truly blessed. I had a long talk on the way back to the house last night with my aunt about this very thing. I haven't really experienced great tragedy. My parents are still together and love each other very much. I have amazing siblings and even more amazing friends. I was lucky enough to be raised in a home where God was the focus. God has really blessed my life and its hard to find the reasons why He does it. My aunt said she was given some great advice from her pastor's wife when she married my uncle. (who is a pastor) She told my aunt that the good times in ministry will far out weigh the bad. I think that applies to my life. Crappy things have happened but I have had some pretty great times. Its easy to get wrapped up in the drama of life and take for granted all the blessings. So, my goal is to focus more on the blessings of life and try to forget all the craziness. I hope everyone is doing well!! love y'all!

Breanne

Fresh Start

2008-11-13T05:41:00.000-06:00

So, its almost 6 am here and this is kind of the story of my life right now!! I sleep at random times and currently do not do a lot of it! I really tried to keep this updated this summer but as the days got busier this thing was forgotten! So, here is to new beginnings. Which kind of symbolizes where I am right now. This is the beginning of life after college. Its was kind of a strange feeling to not go back to school this past August. I think school pretty much defines our life for so long and then its over. Its such a weird transition. I feel like this could be hardest time to find some sort of balance between becoming an adult and not really feeling like I am one.

Turning 25 was supposed to be a big deal I guess but I don't feel any different. I don't feel like I thought I would. I remember my siblings turning 25 and thinking how mature they were and so "adult" but I don't feel that. Its kind of funny to think about being 13 or 14 and thinking about how life would be at 25. According to the teenage version of me, I would have been married and probably had kids by now. WOW!! What the heck was I thinking? I am nowhere near ready to have a family. I feel like there is so much to do and explore. I don't want to have any regrets. I have the rest of my life to be married and I am excited for that season of my life but not ready for it.

Its also been a weird transition because I have no idea what the heck I am supposed to be doing right now!! I have all these ideas and dreams that I want to accomplish. I think that is why I don't sleep a lot. My mind is running like a crazy person! I hope and pray that I can follow through with them all. I would love to start planning for my non profit soon. I just need some people to buy into the idea and when I say "buy" into it, I mean...I need your money! :) So, for all two of that might read this, if you have any extra cash laying around or happen to win the lottery and don't know what to do with it...Look a girl up!! I know God will take care of it. I just have to trust and be patient. Patience is such a dreaded word to me! God likes to do things His way and I guess that is okay but sometimes I feel like I could really help Him out!! Okay, I am done for now. Hopefully, I can become a true blogger and keep this thing updated.

love y'all, Breanne

Half-way Mark

2008-07-02T21:33:00.000-05:00

I cannot believe that it has been seven weeks. It does not feel like it at all. We did not have an anchor site this week so that was kind of different for me. We have been to Project C.U.R.E. It is a huge warehouse that receives medical equipment and medical supplies that are still good but that a hospital might throw out and they repackage them to send to third world countries. It is such an amazing cause and it has become on of my favorite sites. We help fill boxes and go through stuff that can be used. We have also been to East Nashville Co-op this week. It is an organization that has been started by over 20 churches in east Nashville to help the people in the surrounding area. They have a food bank, clothing store, and a garden so they have a chance to get fresh produce. I got to take the kids back to Samaritan so that is always a great time! Tomorrow we are going to do Picnic in the Park at the park across from the Library downtown. We will take lunches down there with us but also take extra so we can ask people to have lunch with us. It should be a good time.

This summer has been an incredible time of growth for me. I have had some time to reflect on the past few years and deal with some stuff that I have tried to forget. It has not been easy but it has been a very healing time for me. This past Sunday when I was sitting in church, the girl leading worship told a story about how she has been having health problems. She and her husband have really been searching for answers from God and been praying for healing. In the midst of all the praying, she felt God telling her that He has heard her prayers but there was not a time that she just seek after Him just to be in His presence. I felt like she was speaking straight to me! I have been doing this for a long time. I feel like I only go to God when I am struggling with something or I need something. I have forgotten to seek Him just because He is. I find myself no longer desiring to just be still and let God speak to me.

I have so many decisions to make in the next few months and I am trying not to stress out about it. I honestly have no idea what I am going to do at the end of the summer and I am learning to be okay with that. God is showing me that I do not have to have it figured out and I do not have to be on this 40 year plan so that my life is laid out. It is kind of scary to think about because it is not the normal way that I do things but it is also making me rely so much more on God now. Which is where I need to be anyway.

I just wanted to thank everyone that has been praying for us this summer. Please continue to keep us in your prayers as we begin to grow weary and try to make sure this does not become routine. We want to have a fresh start every week because we owe the new groups that but it gets hard sometimes to be excited when days are long and exhausting. My parents are coming tomorrow and I am so excited about that! I cannot wait to see them and spend three days with them! This is a much needed trip for me. I miss them so much! It will be a nice break for me to get away from the housing site and spend time with them. I hope everyone is doing great. I miss and love y'all so much!!

Week Seven

2008-06-28T22:49:00.000-05:00

I cant believe that this is the seventh week! Time is flying by so fast. I also did not realize I haven't written in two weeks! My last two groups have been really great. I cant even really write all about two groups in one post. It would be forever long! I am having a great time though and I really like it here! The family is coming this week so that is exciting and I get the 4th off. It will be a good time. My group this week is from FL so I will write more about them throughout the week!! I hope all is well! love y'all!!

Breanne

Happy Father's Day!!

2008-06-15T23:40:00.001-05:00

Hey everyone!! I hope y'all had a great weekend. I enjoyed the time off. It was nice. Today was kind of hard. I really missed not being able to be with my family this weekend for father's day. It is pretty rare to miss a holiday with the family. So, I hope everyone had a great day with their daddy today! I know I miss mine along with everyone else in my family!!!

We got our third group today. Mine is from Illinois. They are in junior high and it is an all girl group . I am pretty excited about it. They love to talk so that will make things go pretty great! Our anchor site is Andrew Jackson Boys and Girls Club so it should be a lot of fun!!! I hope everyone has a great week. Y'all need to start coming to visit this summer!! Please keep praying for us as a staff! Thanks for all the praying so far. We truly appreciate it! love y'all!

Breanne

Week Two

2008-06-13T11:49:00.000-05:00

My group this week was pretty incredible! I had so much fun with them. Our schedule consisted of going to Y-Cap which is a summer program kind of like the Boys and Girls Club. We also went to Campus for Human Development where we served dinner to the men that lived there. We went to Welcome Home which is a halfway house for men that are trying to be get reintroduced to society. We did several things there for them. We cleaned the house, worked in the flower beds, and the boys got to use sledge hammers to break up concrete for a drain. Something about high school boys with sledge hammers made me a little nervous!! They did great though. We also went to the Next Door. It is a place for women that are coming out of prison or crisis situations to come and begin to rehabilitate their life. We did some office work for them and we also got to cook them dinner so that was a real neat experience.

This group was so hilarious. It was a really great week. They had some bumps a long the way but it did not phase them one bit! Two leaders got sick, one of which ended up having to get her appendix out, and one of their vans broke down!! It was one thing after the other but they took everything in stride and let us handle all the details so it did not make things stressful at all. They handled everything very well. I was so impressed and it will be a group I remember for a long time! The kids were so responsive and had no problem jumping right in to work and help out at all the sites. I felt like a lot of them were getting it so I feel like it was a very successful week! I hope everyone is doing great. I love y'all!!

Breanne

First Week of Groups

2008-06-06T15:24:00.001-05:00

We finished training and this was our first week of groups. It was nice to finally get started. Our anchor site (a site we go to every day that week) was Vinehill Boys and Girls Club so that was so much fun!! Those kids were pretty amazing. We played many games of kickball, jump rope, and four square!! It really made me miss the boys and girls club. We also went to Samaritan Ministries which is a soup kitchen. We got to hang out with Ms Jean. I don't know if I have talked about her previously but she is pretty incredible!! Her heart for this city is inspiring and contagious! She is doing some pretty great things for the people of Nashville. Her soup kitchen is the only one in the city that serves lunch every day of the week except Sunday so it is a huge commitment.

The group was only here till Thursday morning so we only went to those two sites. We also did the prayer tour and urban exposure. During urban exposure, we drop the groups off downtown and they have already packed a lunch. They also pack an extra lunch. One of their goals is to ask someone to eat lunch with them. It doesn't have to be someone who is homeless. Also, there are a list of things we want them to accomplish while they are there. It is kind of like night exposure but without the bus ride. So, each week a group will either do a night exposure or an urban exposure. We want them to find a homeless person, a tourist, and a native of Nashville to ask question about the city and to see if they think there is a homeless problem in Nashville. Also, it is a chance to strike up a conversation with someone they don't know. It is a stretching time for them and it can put the groups in some pretty uncomfortable situations because talking to people you don't know is not always the easiest!! It is definitely a growing experience for them.

We have the rest of the weekend off so that will be nice. Patrick, Jimmy, Jessie, and I went to the Science Center today so that was fun. It is nice to hang out with each other. We all get along so well so this summer should be a pretty incredible experience! I hope everyone is doing well. Thanks for reading and keeping in touch!! love y'all!!

Breanne

Day Off!!

2008-05-31T09:34:00.000-05:00

Yay for days off! There will not be many this summer so I am sure they will be treasured! Yesterday was our last day of training and the groups get here tomorrow. I am so excited for the groups to start coming. My first group is a junior high youth group and this is their first time with CSM so it should be a lot of fun!! I am co-hosting with Jessie so that will take some of the pressure off.

This week was pretty great. We finished up visiting all the ministry sites we are going to be at this summer. We went to the boys and girls club. They are one of our anchor sites which means we will be going there every day either in the morning or afternoon. So, I am pretty excited about that! We send the kids out on a thing called night exposure while they are here and we did it as a staff this week. We give them $5 each and they have to ride the bus downtown and back home at the end of it. The bus ride there and back cost $3 so then they have to find somewhere to eat for only $2. We mark off boundaries so they cannot go to any fast food places. Usually they are in groups of two or three so they can put their money together if they think about and we do not give them idea of course! While they are downtown, they have find a place they would sleep if they really were homeless. Then they have to lay down in that place for 5 to 10 minutes to get a feel for what it is like to sleep on the streets. It was pretty powerful to do and a huge wake up call for how oblivious people are of their surroundings. Of course, we did not look the part because we still had our clean clothes on and we were clean so we could pretty much walk anywhere but it was really eye opening to see how hard it was if you were not in a group and did not have anyone with you to combine your money.

It really made me excited for this summer. We get to share this experience with these kids and show them how people in America are struggling. Well, I hope everyone is doing great. I miss y'all so much!!

In Him, Breanne

Week One

2008-05-23T23:39:00.000-05:00

Well, its hard to believe we have finished a week of training. Tomorrow is pretty much just driving around the city to learn it or get lost in it!! Today was a crazy day! We went to six ministry sites. We went to Family Life Center which is a shelter for women and children. We also went to Feed The Children which was so awesome to see the "behind the scenes" of that organization. We went to Welcome Home. It is a homeless shelter for men who mostly have come from prison. It is more of a halfway house for them to come for a year to be reintroduced to society. YCAP was of course the one that is near and dear to my heart!! It is a summer program through YMCA for inner city kids. We will be going there every week! We also went to Nashville Cares. It is an organization that offers so many services that surround the issues of HIV. It is an incredible organization. If you have time, you should look it up on the internet. I dont know the website but just google Nashville Cares. It is going to be one of my favorites as well. They do so much for this community.
The last place we went today was the Salvation Army. Every Friday, Salvation Army takes a mobile feeding ministry to a place in Nashville under a bridge and serves supper out the back of the bus. They also serve breakfast at a different location on Tuesday mornings. We went with them tonight to help out. It was incredible. We went down under the bridge to just hang out with the people and talk to them. They have some pretty moving stories and it was a very humbling experience tonight.
It already blows my mind how we overlook these people that are in need of someone that will love on them and finally give them a break. So many times we get so caught up in our own world, that we cant take the blinders off long enough to see the hurt in our own backyard. Another site we went to yesterday was Isaiah 58 which is another feeding ministry. They also have their own bus and as I was sitting with some guys yesterday and we were talking, it was almost overwhelming to be there. One of the guys I was talking to was only 24 and he had been on the streets for 2 years. It was very eye opening to talk to someone my age. God really showed me yesterday that these are sons, daughters, moms, dads, grandparents, etc. More importantly, these are His children that have been forgotten.
Thank you so much for the prayers so far!! We are going to need them for sure and I dont know if I can stress that enough!! I love yall so much.

In Him, Breanne

Hello Nashville!!!

2008-05-20T23:42:00.000-05:00

Today is day two of being in Nashville for the summer. Things are going pretty great so far. There are eight of us working this summer and that is including the director and assistant director. Everyone is from different states for the most part so getting to know everyone has been a lot of fun because I love meeting new people!! It has only been two days but I already love Nashville which I kind of thought would happen!! There is so much culture and diversity here. Its pretty amazing.
We are in staff training right now so we dont have any groups until the first of June. Today we did our prayer tour. It is a two hour tour of the city. We go to different places throughout the city just to get a better feel of the needs of the people and also just to learn more about where we are going to be living for the summer. We get out at certain areas and pray over the city. We take our groups on the tour at the beginning of each week. It is by far one of my favorite parts of everything that we do! Well, I just wanted to start filling everyone in on what has started happening. Please pray for us this summer. It is going to be a very busy and exhausting summer but God is going to be doing some pretty great things!! Pray that we have patience with each other and also our groups. I love yall!!!

In Him,

Breanne

Also, if you want to pray for each of the staff by name, that would be awesome!! Its Jessie, Mary Margaret, Joy, Patrick, Jimmy, and me. Our director is Jes and assistant director is Kristen.

Remembering

2008-04-16T19:58:00.000-05:00

I cant believe that it has been a year today since the shooting at VA Tech. Where does the time go? I know that we are not supposed to dwell on things but how quickly we forget the tragic events of that day. It is so easy to go back to a normal life when you are not directly effected. Did we learn anything from that day? I read all these articles about how we need to have better security on college campuses or more gun control. Those issues probably need to be addressed but I honestly think the real issue is that these people need Jesus. There is so much hatred in this world today. There are many people who condemn people to hell and say they deserve it but the fact is that we all deserve it. If we truly could grasp the concept of how horrible of a place hell really is, I think our outlook on non Christians would be totally different.
I had a conversation with a friend the other day about finding it hard to think about not believing in God because it has always been a part of my life. No wonder there is so much despair and depression in our nation. I could not imagine not believing that God is truly in control and He does see the bigger picture. Christians are so quick to judge and point out the sin in people's life, that they miss the fact that most people just need someone that will love them. They need someone to show them the grace and mercy that God showed us the day He sent Jesus to die for us. We act like we deserve our salvation and that we did something to earn it. God's intent was not for us to become arrogant and proud. If anything, we should be humbled at His feet daily.
I want my life to be different. I want people to see God in my actions and not just my words. I want to see the pain of this world through His eyes. I want to love people the way Jesus loved them. I think that if that is our pray as a body of believers, we will begin to truly care about people. We will actually pray for them when we tell them that we will. It is not just something we say. I want to stand out but not in an arrogant way. I want people to see that even when things are so crazy in my life or things are going so bad, that I still have the joy of the Lord in my heart. My prayer is that we do not forgot this day. I pray that we begin to make a difference in our Nation by standing up for what we believe in. I pray that the negativity that comes along with the word "Christian" would begin to wiped away with our generation!

Things Change

2008-04-13T11:01:00.000-05:00

Another chapter in my life is about to close. College is coming to an end and I have mixed emotions. I am so excited to see what God has planned for the next step but the fear of the unknown also sets in!! Do I even know what to do with myself when I do not have to go to school?!? It will be nice to not have class anymore! I decided to start this blog for two reasons. The main reason was because I am pretty horrible about writing in a journal and I use the internet pretty much every day so this would be the easiest way to begin recording the new phases of my life! The second reason was so I could share these new experiences with my friends and family! As most know, I got the CSM job in Nashville. So, I am sure that will be what most blogs are about this summer. I am so excited about it. It will be a very busy summer and a growing time. I am anxious to see how God uses me and becomes even more real to me! Well, this post will be short but there will be many, many more to come!!